It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
