whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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