in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
