Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
