im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize