I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I CAN MOONWALK!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
