Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
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Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize