Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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