so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
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her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
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We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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