is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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