Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
