Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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