spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
