you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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