I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
