my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
