I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
