Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.

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(516): View more from New York

i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.

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(312): View more from Illinois

If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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(954): View more from Florida

Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend

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(650): View more from California

Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers

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(614): View more from Ohio

You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night

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(352): View more from Florida

To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.

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