I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
