The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
