The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
