My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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