Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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