first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
