If i could tip my vagina, i would.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
