You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
