She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
