if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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