if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
