Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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