tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize