Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
