he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
