I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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