Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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