is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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