That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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