Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
