fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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