I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He did a backflip because drugs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize