I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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