I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
