Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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