The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
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