After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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