you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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