Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
