My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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