one two three fourrrrnication!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
