I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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