u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
