Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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