Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
