you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
