Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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