I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have already put on my inside pants.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
