i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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