haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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