DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
