I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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