Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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